****.

How can I say this nicely? Should I? I'm not sure anymore. I just don't understand how she can know that we're engaged and not say ANYTHING. Would it have honestly killed her to say congratulations, or that she was happy for Ethan at least? I don't have a lot of family, I'm reminded of this all the time... so I'm excited to be marrying into a rather large family. But I'm not excited about this kind of family. I know that I have friends and that we're LIKE family, but it just isn't the same. I'll never forget that I was with a friend once, who I consider family, and they made the comment to someone else that we were doing something because, "we're with family." and the person they were talking to quickly said, "no, this isn't family that's just your friend." Another reminder that no, God didn't give me a gigantic family. I have lovely friends who do an amazing job as family, but there's nothing like walking into room of your relatives. Right? Maybe I put too much emphasis on family, I don't know. I just know that tonight, I'm pretty hurt by almost everyone in E's family by how they've reacted to our engagement. This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life but it isn't. And now that I think about it, there have been very few that seem genuinely supportive and excited that I'm getting married anywhere in my life. Whatever.

Fuck you if you don't care. And chances are you probably don't and that's just fucking fine. Fuck.