Beautiful Life

Wednesday afternoon I sat in my car at the hospital in Conover and I cried. No, not the kind of crying that makes you sick or the kind that makes you look like an absolute crazy person, but the kind that humbles you. The kind of crying that makes you realize how small of a person you are compared to the rest of the world. The kind of crying that makes you realize that on some level, every human being is connected someway; we all cry.

I had just left room 221 where one of my best friend's was recovering after giving birth the previous afternoon. Less than a day old, I held Valerie Paige for the first time. I looked down at her, all bundled up, and I was overcome with emotion. She was beautiful. And it wasn't just the "beautiful-because-I-know-the-mom" beautiful. I was staring at the God's most perfect design in one of the most precious forms.

Valerie's dad, who is probably the most proud new father that I have ever seen in my life, immediately whipped out his phone as I began to say how beautiful she is. He clicked on a video, and with little warning, I saw baby Valerie being whisked up from where she had made her grand entrance, and into her mom's arms. She wasn't clean yet, she was screaming like nothing I've ever heard and I lost it. It was the most beautiful video I have ever watched. I saw Mary Beth go from the sarcastic but lovably hardass woman to the most amazing mother in the world, tears in her eyes meeting the love of her life for the first time. I held Valerie for a little while longer, talked to the new parents and then gave her back to dad. I didn't want to stay too long.

I got to my car and a flood of emotions just hit. Where did the time go? My two best girlfriends were now moms. Keaton is a year old now and Valerie is a few days old, but both of my best friends now have kids. We're growing up. Yes, they both had them young so it isn't like I'm behind on popping out babies, but it just put into perspective. Out of the three of us, I'm next.

This probably sounds ridiculous and off topic, but I sort of began to think about Harry Potter after that. When I watched the last movie, I was so sad. "This is it," I thought. Many have said that it seemed like the end of the last movie ended their childhood. For my generation, or perhaps for my graduating class and the ones near it, we grew up with these books and movies. Now it's over and along with that, one of the most important parts of our childhood is over as well.

I'm growing up and it's breaking my heart but it's exciting to me at the same time. Instead of looking forward to spring break because we don't have homework, or to midnight premiers to see a trio of wizards, I'm looking forward to Keaton's second birthday. I'm looking forward to hold Valerie while talking to my best friend about her new life. I'm excited over baby clothes instead of my own clothes. Instead of getting invites for sweet 16s, I'm being invited to weddings and showers.

It's a beautiful life I'm living... at times I miss the 5 year old me that used to play outside until it was dark. We had to come inside once night fell but my sister and I would convince each other that it wasn't quite dark yet... the moon was bright, right? Maybe we could convince our mom that we mistook it for the sun...
...ut I wouldn't trade where I'm at right now for the world <3