I'll Settle

I haven't written in so long... I have a blog post that I can't figure out how to hide so this will have to work for now.

I'm not really sure where to begin or what to say, but I feel like I should at least write something.

E left Saturday morning for AT. I thought I'd really miss him but the truth is, I don't. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE me some E, but I know what it's like to truly miss someone. I know what it's like to not hear his voice for over a month, to not see him for four months and to be forced to put the faith I have in our relationship into the hands of God, knowing that we'd come out on top in the end. So two weeks with phone calls every night certainly doesn't warrant me to be pathetically missing E. It does make me wish he were home, though. And I very much can't wait until he's home.

When he DOES get home, we'll be leaving for NOLA which I'm hoping will be a good trip but so far has done nothing but stress me out. I can't help but keep thinking about how if we weren't going I could pay my car off in August but I can't keep thinking about "what if..." It'll all be paid for eventually.

I've been contemplating getting my Master's after graduating in May... not really sure where that'll lead me but I'll have to keep looking into it.

I'm struggling with anger now and I hate it. I'm so mad and it's known that I'm mad and they could honestly care less, which hurts a lot. I'm trying to be rational but I can't be right now... I'm going to assume that this is just preparation for making things easier later. Because later is imminent and this is so typical. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

I'm tired.

It feels like a Monday...