The end of the year always brings with it many feelings. Bittersweet emotions, memories of days gone by that seemed to have happened just minutes ago, and the dreaded questions of "what if?" or "I wonder if I should have done ____ differently?". Of course, there is also a sense of relief. The calendar and clocks see the ticking of the minutes from 11:59pm on December 31st to 12:00 midnight, January 1st no differently than any other transition they make. Just another day, another frame of time that has passed. For us, however, we allow ourselves the chance to change and make new. With a new year we identify a time of monumental goal setting, massive rearranging and emotional restructuring. While all of the things we promise ourselves and others to accomplish in the "New Year" could happen at any point in time, it is this magical frame of mind we put ourselves in once the ball drops that sets our bodies and minds into motion and we give ourselves permission to drastically (attempt) the correction of the imperfections we have noticed all year long.
I'm no different than the masses, either. I found myself wishing away the holiday season (sorry, Jesus, it's nothing personal against You), and craving the beginning of 2012. Don't get me wrong, 2011 has been kind to me. I had an amazing year at Lenoir-Rhyne that wasn't without its headache, I was engaged (shortly) to the love of my life and married him (quickly) a few months later, and I reconnected with family that had long since been on the back burner of my life. I grew closer to my best friend, reconnected to old friends, mended bridges that needed repair and burned the ones that were leading to no where. So many bumps were in the road for me personally; the passing of my beloved pug, my aunt and most recently my grandfather were at the top of the list of trials. Having Ethan leave for UNCC in the fall, being apart from him and then learning of his deployment surely sent me on an emotional roller coaster that has still yet to stop. I've not managed my weight well, which was a goal of mine for this past year and there are other areas of my life that aren't as de-cluttered as I would have hoped to have had them by now. But just as quickly as 2011 arrived after 2010, 2012 is just around the corner and with it comes that "fresh start" that society has created. I am so going to take advantage of it, too. I'm giving myself that amusing permission I could have granted myself all year long, and I'm vowing to make many changes. Some of them I know before I start, I'll forget in just a few weeks. Others, though, I am truly excited to integrate into myself and my husband.
Here's a compiled list of my goals for the New Year, some of them feasible and others I may only make a small dent in accomplishing. All of them should keep me busy!
1. My first resolution is traditional, over done and rarely accomplished so I'll say it first and get it out of the way: eat better, get fit and lose weight. I know, I know... so many say they'll do it but I really, really want to. I've struggled for a long time and I'm so ready to make this happen.
2. Get to church weekly! ...okay at least more often than I've been going. This year, I grew much closer to God and solidified my salvation. I weaved in and out of church but I really want to start going more and reconnect with St.Paul Lutheran Church in Startown.
3. Heart Organizing More! I think anyone who does their selves a favor and visits Jen's blog over at iHeartOrganizing leaves with many a feelings that include, but are not limited to: inspiration, excitement, a little doubt and a slight bit of self loathing... Why couldn't WE be that awesome and imaginative?! All the same, the girl has it going ON and I can't wait to organize, de-clutter, and better manage my life as well as mine and my husband's time and finances.
4. Become a Chef! ...actually, I just want to be able to cook things from scratch occasionally, make things out of a box sometimes, and microwave our dinner on other nights, too. I'm not bad cook but I'm no Betty Crocker. Ethan comes from a family of women who know how to cook well and make marvelous things out of nothing at all. My grandmother loved to cook but when she was alive, I was too young to appreciate the wisdom she could have passed on to me. My mom isn't a lover of the kitchen, so I'm determined to change things up for us both. It's totally time to start trying cool recipes and maybe even make a few of my own!
5. Blog Blog Blog. I love my blog. But it is so weird. Sometimes I rant, other times I post long, meaningful posts, and there's everything else in between. For 2012, I want to create a wonderful space to write and recollect my first year of marriage, among my many other firsts (deployment, year after graduation, etc). I need to update the layout, get a catchy new title & devote more time to writing on a schedule. I also need to do much better about pictures and video, which leads me to my next goal for 2012.
6. Capture My Life! I need to first purchase an awesome camera, but even before that, I intend to document more things photographically as well as through video. I'd love to set a goal of vloging once a month, and also updating my blog with more pictures throughout the year. Not just virtually, though. I want to make photo books, and perhaps dabble a bit in scrapbooking. While it can get expensive, those memories are so worth every penny. You can't take it with you!
7. $ave lot$ of Money! We are by no means a wealthy young married couple, but we're also pretty lucky. I work, Ethan works, Ethan is in the National Guard and we have a lot less debt combined than most young college students accumulate. While we're going to be working to pay off our -mostly my- debt during 2012, I also plan to save lots of money and cut corners wherever I can. As a wife, I think part of my responsibility to my husband is to help provide for as much as I can without losing sight of the fact that my husband is the head of the marriage, just as Christ is the head of the church. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to, because I understand that it is an equal partnership that requires just as much work from me as it does him. I am not submitting to his every desire or making him sandwiches when he demands, but I am working to please him just as he works to please me. Together, I pray, that we can become financially secure during 2012 and into 2013 when he comes home.
8. Get my read on. I love books. I love them, love them, LOVE them times infinity. Sad to say, I've maybe read one book since seventh grade. I know, crazy, right? But school has me reading lots of things for no fun and then you throw the internet in my face and all my free time for reading just seems to disappear. But I want to reclaim it and enjoy it and truly reconnect to my favorite past-time. I was given several books for Christmas that I can't wait to read and I look forward to getting new ones. I'm thinking about getting a kindle or a nook, so we'll see how this goes!
9. Be An Awesome Army Wife. It still hasn't sunk in completely that I'm a wife, let alone the wife to an amazing soldier. While his deployment is something I'm dreading, I'm looking forward to taking advantage of my time at home to be better for him and Him. I'm looking forward to sending only the absolute best care packages, writing sweet letters, embracing short phone calls and counting down to r&r and homecoming. I'm already planning video updates, photo-shoots, and other nifty ideas to pass both my time and his. No one looks forward to a deployment, especially in the midst of such an awful conflict, but it is coming. And instead of being in denial, I will take it by the horns and make the most out of such a terrible situation. Look out, deployment, here we come!
10. Keep Making Goals. There are so many other things I want to list. In fact, number 10 was going to be, "be more crafty!" until I realized I could go on and on and on. So my tenth goal is to keep on keepin' on. Everytime I think of something I want to accomplish - like right now, I decided I want to learn to knit - I need to write it down here and remind myself that I have another goal! It's time to make things happen and get the ball rolling.
2012 is going bring me so much STUFF. It's going to bring me a graduation, a (prayerfully) new job, a deployment, a first full year of marriage, birthdays & holidays without my husband and I'm sure a million surprises along the way. And it will also bring me another year of Christ. I can't forget what happened two thousand and eleven years ago; what happened that marks the turning of each year.
"I believe in God,
the Father almighty,
Creator of heaven and earth,
and in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord,
who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died and was buried;
he descended into hell;
on the third day he rose again from the dead;
he ascended into heaven,
and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty;
from there he will come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic Church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and life everlasting. Amen."
Cheers to a blessed New Year, I'll see you on the flip side.
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