Life Keeps Happening

When I was little, one of my favorite shows was Saved By The Bell. I say when I was little because that's when I actually got to watch it. Truth be told, if I could watch it everyday I would. I remember that it used to come on TBS (I believe that was channel 37 then) at 7:00am every morning and I'd rush to get ready for school so I could watch an episode before going to the bus stop. I was slightly obsessed with Zach. What girl wasn't?

When Zach was in a bind, or when things were happening too fast and he needed to collect himself, he would call time. The room would freeze and if it was as if time was standing still, waiting for him to figure out his plan and what he would say next. He'd say the magic words and the world would once again commence spinning. I wish I could do this some days. Alas, life keeps happening despite my plea for it to just wait a minute for me to catch up, to get ahead.

I'm internally conflicted right now. Usually, I'm either really happy or really sad... in a non-bipolar kind of way. It's just that I am acutely aware of my self and how I feel, so I generally express it very willingly. But right now I am caught in this odd middle ground that I do NOT like at all.

There's one side of me that is truly ecstatic. My hours were finally set in stone at work today (I think) and I'm not going to have to adjust my budget. And speaking of my budget, it has been SO successful so far! Granted, it's only been two weeks but I've stuck to it like it's Gospel and it's paid off for sure. I've only spent about $86 outside of my budget, and $33 of that was for a doctor bill that I had to pay. Other than that I've needed some extra gas, a light bulb for my car and I've gone out once with my mom and E. It's actually really nice being on such a tight budget. Before, I always knew when I had bills coming up but I never really predicted anything too far in advance. And it's a really good thing that I have... after August, I'll really have to start making sure I'm saving everything I've set aside to save because there are several weeks where my paycheck won't cover all my bills like it usually does now. August 12-October 14 will be the tightest I've ever really had to keep my money but it'll be worth it when I pay my car off FIVE months early :D I'm super stoked because after this Friday I'll have all the money I feel like I need for New Orleans, not counting extra spending money and money for things like clothes before I leave. That makes me really happy because I know how important this trip is for Ethan, and for me, really. Another good thing that's happening is that because I have less funds for doing things like going out to eat or going to the movies or driving to Lincolnton during the week, I've spent more time doing things for myself. I've been to the gym more and eating better and I'm already noticing a difference in how my clothes fit. I haven't lost much weight but I can tell I'm about to start seeing a bigger difference on the scale. Another reason that I can go to the gym more is because I'm only doing my internship on Tuesday now AND I'm FINALLY working some mornings at Zander's!!! I'm also getting a day OFF on Friday which will be lovely. As a matter of fact, this whole weekend will be lovely! Thursday I'm working a morning shift (love!)and then I'm going to workout and go to a new class at the gym. Ethan is also off Thursday so we're going to our first small group meeting and then he's staying with me at my house-sitting job. Friday is officially "Do Nothing" day for us in terms of things we "have" to do, with the exception of me feeding dogs at another house that afternoon. We'll probably sleep in a little and then I'm going to try and talk E into take me to the mall at 10 for Sephora's grand opening. The first 50 people get a gift card, and there's a $100 gift card lurking around out there. Perhaps I won't get it, but who knows? After that, we plan on doing a whole lot of nothing besides staying by the pool and grilling out later... it'll be a very chill day and I'm excited to just relax for awhile. On Saturday, I'm off work so I'll probably squeeze in an early workout but I'm house-sitting a total of four houses that day. I'll spend most of my day driving from house to house, praying I don't forget anyone.

Honestly, after typing all about the things that have made me happy, the things that have made me kinda sad don't seem SO bad. Well, yes they do...my car is mechanically fine but cosmetically not so good. In fact, after my wreck, the damage is over $3,000 which means my car will be totaled if I claim it on my insurance. Unfortunately, I owe too much on my car for me to be profitable form getting a check, so I'll have to live with all the damage. Unfortunately again, I can't pass inspection until I get my windshield repaired and headlight replaced. Unfortunately again, my tags ran out in May. Money is really not there for me to get all of that done, but God will provide. I'm also struggling with a few people who are in my life that I'm not sure what to do with. God has them here for a reason and I know in time that reason will be revealed, but for now, it's surely a struggle not to say "goodbye!" and mean it.

You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6