This year, I can honestly say I am beyond ready for October to be over. My favorite month just isn't so favorite when every memory I want to make is 7,000 miles away. Don't get me wrong, I still have a special place in my heart for the month of pumpkin spice and chilly nights, but that place is occupied with a longing for my sweet husband to be back in my arms.
That being said, October hasn't been a complete bust. Quite the contrary, October has been quite kind to me. I've heard from E regularly through phone calls and one attempted session on Skype which is a reason to celebrate all on it's own. Work is going slowly but surely and I'm getting a much better grasp on my position which is something I didn't know would happen so fast. I truly thought I'd be struggling to keep my head above water for at least another three months and now I'm succesfully treading calmly. I'm not swimming, but treading? I'll take it.
I've also lost ten pounds as of Monday on my diet! I'm totally stoked. I know this is going to sound crazy but I feel different. I don't feel super skinny or anything, but I can defintely tell that I've lost a little weight. My clothes don't fit differently or anything, but I can just tell in the way I walk that I've somehow changed a bit. It's defintely motivation enough for me to just keep going. Today for the first time in over two weeks I had a meal that was totally horrible for me, and I feel it. I feel crummy just thinking about it but I actually feel bad. It makes me want to cook for myself for the rest of the week and just forget about the idea of going anywhere but my own kitchen... I will defintely not be rushing out to eat anytime soon!
Probably the brightest little nugget of good that has come out of this October is seeing my bestfriend for the first time since January. Honestly, I missed him so much. I can remember when we had this huge fight, thinking how horrible he was for things he said but looking back, I said things that were just as mean. Yes, my feelings were hurt but his couldn't have been left unscathed by my own anger. It literally makes my heart smile to know that things seem normal again. And not the same psycho normal from before where we were constantly bickering and tearing each other apart. It's seriously been such a blessing to have him "back"... even though, I don't think we'll ever not be bestfriends. Through it all I never considered us anything less than best friends; we were just best friends who didn't talk. So dumb.
Even though October is only half way over, I still consider it My October. Not because my birthday is in it, but because it's just truly a magical time of year. The spirit of the season and the seasons that are coming just envelope my life around this time of year and despite the fact that I thought it would be horrible without my E, it's surprised me and given me renewed hope and revitalized faith.
I'm still ready to see October scurry along, followed by the next seven months, but if I have to experience them all one-by-one, I hope they're all as kind to me as this one.
October, you never disappoint me.
No comments:
Post a Comment