How can I change her heart?

Last week I went to a birthday party for one of Ethan's cousins and while I was just standing around awkwardly - because what are adults really supposed to do a kid's party anyway? - I struck up a conversation with one of my favorite young ladies. I believe she's in middle school and through the five years Ethan and I have been together, I have watched her transformation from a little kid into a beautiful pre-teen who has a truly bright future. 

Her family is strong - the strongest kinds of strong that only a military family can posses. I'm in awe of how they've held themselves together through multiple deployments only to come out of it with a heart that's still soft enough to help others; they've recently become a foster family and I'm envious of their ability to help so many people just by opening their front door. 

But last week, my heart was truly hurt. As this young girl was telling me about the newest foster child they were caring for, she spoke of a haunting past. It made me sad to think this little child had been through so much at such a young age, and just when I thought it was over, I was told that there was something else. This baby used live with her aunt. The girl who was speaking then said that what came next was disgusting. She made a face as if to insinuate being sick and I braced myself. Had this poor baby been the victim of rape? Had someone shook this child? Drugs in the home? 

No. What was disgusting was that she lived with her aunt and her aunt's partner.

I was in shock. I nodded my head, looked to another adult to continue a new conversation and held back tears. I got to my car and I couldn't stop them. I just cried and cried as I drove home because I couldn't understand what I had just heard. This beautiful young girl stood in front of me,  and yet the words that flowed were filled with homophobia and disgust. I knew her family was conservative, as are most of Ethan's relatives, but I didn't know it was taken this far. 

My mind immediately ran to my best friend. I've brought him around these people and trusted that it was a safe environment. Was I wrong? Is that really what they think about gay people and those who have children? Then I thought of his sweet aunts, who just welcomed a beautiful baby girl not even a year ago. How could such a beautiful family be viewed as anything but just that? What was disgusting? To this exact moment I can't process it.

What are we teaching our children? I know that not everyone agrees that "gay is okay" but when did the term disgusting become okay to use when we're talking about real people? 

I can't get this day out of my head. What can I do to fix this? How can I change the heart of someone who simply doesn't know any better? I'm so lost. I can't even grasp the concept that she is just one thousands.

It's devastating and I feel helpless.