If I Could Give Myself Advice

If I could go back in time and give myself advice for how to handle the week of Thanksgiving, here's what I would say:

1. I know you really like Army Wives and that you're trying to get caught up on the seasons, but when you're missing your husbad the most, please don't watch season five. Not only will you watch two men dressed in greens show up at one of your favorite character's houses, you will hear them tell her that her son was killed and then, because you are a glutton for punishment, you will watch his funeral and listen to the letter he left in his foot locker be read in his voice and you will bawl your fucking eyes out. And it's because you will be too stupid to realize it's a bad fucking idea. Avoid this show for the week of Thanksgiving. It is a total mood killer.

2. Thanksgiving is as dumb as you remember it every single year. It's a holiday that few people actually enjoy, that people spend way too much time cooking for ( cooking food that you don't even like, by the way), and it will not magically transform into an awesome holiday so don't feel bad about dreading it.

3. You do not have to go to every house that you are expected to go to. Even though you're going to do it for the sake of your husband, it isn't worth your worry because while you might be making everyone else happy, you're only going to drive yourself crazy rushing from place to place. Pick two places. People will deal.

4. If and when a prayer is said at the family dinner and they do not address your husband, your husband's service or the fact that maybe just maybe we should be thankful for something other than stuffing our faces, just stay calm. Stay calm. Not only is it not worth getting upset over, but you now have a legitimate reason to open your mouth and get sassy the next time someone pisses you off. This can be morphed into a good thing. 

5. You don't like turkey. Stop eating it. 

6. You are going to cry more on Thanksgiving than you have since your husband left. You will cry getting ready, in the car, when you see his dad (because he looks just like him), when you leave his grandparent's house and then, as if you hadn't cried enough, you will get drunk and sob on your floor to your best friend like a complete idiot. It will be therapeutic and embarrassing and the best thing you could have done for yourself. Crying is totally fine on Thanksgiving.

7. Speaking of your best friend, you're going to be completely reminded of why your best friend is still your best friend and it will make your heart s m i l e even when you don't feel like anything can be right with the world. Just go with it and hold on to it, because it's one of those things that you're going to end up being most thankful for.

8. Your husband isn't going to magically surprise you like a super cute You Tube video. You already know this but that teeny tiny hope that you'll at least hear from him via a face book message or short phone call will also be smashed and it will break your little heart. But whatever you do, don't not hope. Even when you're disappointed, you must remember that there is never a crime in hoping.

9. For every ounce of sadness you have because your husband won't be home, there are two ounces of love for him in your heart. If you didn't love him, you wouldn't miss him. The fact that you have someone in your life that you love so much is enough reason to celebrate. Don't forget that distance doesn't take away what's in your heart.

10. Speaking of your husband, you're going to think about him roughly 9234592345 times a day. Don't fight it. Embrace it. You have found the one whom your soul loves.

Thanksgiving is another day down. Keep on keeping on.