13 years, 48 days.

Nine years ago today, I lost the most important person in the world.

To say that I miss her seems inadequate; to say that I loved her seems to be a vast understatement.

They say that time heals all wounds but I have found this to be untrue. How can time heal the pain of death, when every second that passes is a second that is farther from the last hug, the last, "I love you," or the last smile? No, time does not heal all wounds.

Time is a tricky thing that tries to make you forget the hurt by blurring, ever so slightly, the memories of the past. But it also works against you. Time forces you to work harder to remember their voices and their touch, their laughter and their stories.

The most beautiful woman I have ever known held me in her arms the day I was born and loved me unconditionally until the day that she died.

I have to watch myself, even nine years later, when I see people my age or older with their grandparents. It's a twinge of jealousy, a moment of anger and a knife that twists itself in my spine as I watch the Lucky Ones have what I will never again experience. It is beautiful and it is broken, but it is the way my eyes so jadedly see the world.

-

Thirteen years and forty eight days I had you in my life. I truly had no idea what I had until far too many years later when I realized what had escaped me. I will never let time steal you away from me. As painful as the image of the cancer breaking your body but never your spirit, I will embrace the worst of times so that I may never lose sight of the days when you were hugging me tightly, laughing so freely and always loving, unconditionally. The most beautiful woman I have ever known, the most precious memory I will ever hold.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.

You were like my mother

You were my best friend

You were everything I want to be

And all the good inside of me

That there's ever been

There's never been another

Who loved me like you did

My grandmother, my angel