Executive

Before I graduated college, I was scared to death.

I had worked at a coffeehouse for seven years with no luck of finding a "real" job, my husband was being deployed to a different country meaning we'll be spending more time apart than together during the beginning of our marriage, my friendships were crumbling, my depression was coming back and aside from a very small amount left over each week after the bills were paid, we were broke.

If someone would have told me back in March when I felt like everything in my life was leaving and falling and crashing that I'd be typing this sentence from my office as the Executive Director of the NCA, well, I wouldn't have even given it the satisfaction of a laugh.

Part of me is terrified that the committee who chose me will burst into my office and apologize for their mistake. I mean, let's face it, what 21 year old is given control of an arts organization? What college graduate can handle it? What kid can pay the bills, organize the school, handle the clients and raise money? They have to have me confused. My resume speaks for its simple self. My lack of professional attire in my closet screams unqualified.

And yet, this morning, it's just me. No apologetic board members. No fashion police giving me a citation for my maxi dress and denim jacket with Rainbows. Nothing.

Wasn't I supposed to work my way up? Ruthlessly climb to the top after years of being a slave to The Man? Was it supposed to be this easy? I mean, I can't fabricate a story about working hard all my life to recieve this title. I've been here ten weeks. I was in the right place at the right time... or rather, God put me in the right place at the right time.

I have to keep telling myself that this goes higher than me. This isn't about my talent, my qualifications, my abilities. This is about me being where God wants me to be, doing what He wants me to do.

I do have a degree. I do know how to do this job. I can't fabricate 20 years of management, but I can do this.

I can do this.

God is good.