Ramblings of July 4th

Can I just say that I have never in my entire life been more frustrated over boxes than I have been the past two weeks? In my mind, moving was going to be a very simple process. Pack Boxes, Move Boxes, Un Pack Boxes, Discard Boxes, Enjoy Apartment! Oh, how wrong I was… perhaps I wasn’t as organized as I anticipated? Maybe I packed way too many things without considering that my apartment was pretty small? I think it was a combination of the two. But I also think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I have never moved anywhere in my entire life. I’ve never even switched bedrooms. Since I was a baby, the room in my childhood home has watched me grow and has morphed from a nursery to a little girl’s princess room before changing into a pre-teens awkward shrine to *Nsync and then, after much trial and error, a haven for a college student until finally housing a married couple for six months. It was so good to me. And it was really, really big.

My apartment is collectively bigger than my life-long bedroom, but the actually bedroom is small. The kitchen is pretty small, and the living room is small and the furniture? It's big furniture. Don’t get me wrong, because it is a lovely apartment, it’s just small. And when you combine small – not to mentioned shared – space with lots of things and someone who has never attempted to move things and live in an apartment, well, it can get frustrating. This is why it has taken me over two weeks to finally say that I'm 75% moved in. Yep. Roughly 3/4 of my things are in their proper places and space, with the remaining treasures scattered throughout the house. I went back home today and took a look at the disaster I left behind - literally boxes and crap in three rooms of the house - before realizing it was a holiday and I'd deal with it over the weekend. 

And to be honest, it isn't just boxes that I'm frustrated over. Today is a day that is usually spent with family and friends but I'm home alone watching TV. I can't even bring myself to get dressed, let alone make plans. I want my husband here. It seems like he's been gone for so long and knowing I have 12 more months until he's back is exhausted to try and wrap my head around. 

Work has been stressful, too. I have an interview on the 9th that will determine whether or not I get to stay in my position as Executive Director of the auditorium. I want the job badly... but I feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment. The BOD probably sees me as a joke. What 21 year old has the desire to be an ED of an arts organization? I do. And I know I can do it. I just pray I can make them see that I'm the best option. 

I just keep telling myself that I get to see E at the end of the month and while it will come with the hardest goodbye we've had to experience yet, it will also come with much needed quality time that I have seriously been craving for months.