Why?

God, can you just tell me why?

The first time I stopped being friends with someone who I considered my brother, it was awful. It took forever for me to be okay with the fact, but I finally was. And then, after realizing that I still had an amazing best friend beside me, that has to stop too. Can you tell me why you let this happen right before my husband enters a war zone? Could you possibly help me understand why I have to feel totally isolated and alone almost all of the time? Would it be terrible if I had ONE friend who I could call or text any time of day and know they'd be there? That I would be there for them? Would the world absolutely end? Are you purposefully also letting me grow attached to these people's families, only to rip those away, too and remind me of what I don't have? Are you trying to tell me that my doctor was right, and that I do need anti-depressants to stablize me instead of support from people I care about and foolishly thought cared about me?

If you could just kindly let me know, I'd appreciate it. Because I don't understand.