I wish I could say I was strong tonight but I feel so, so weak. I have no friends, my husband is gone and I've never let it get to me like it has tonight. This is the first time I've felt like I lost control of the entire situation and I've never been so alone. I am so scared because this the first time since E's been gone that I've had to actually be afraid. I know I can't post specifics because of OPSEC but I know what's he doing right now and I know he can't call and I know it isn't safe and I can't be sure what's going to happen. I'm just scared. I want this to be over so badly because he's all I have in this entire world and to be without it is something I can't handle.
I hate the weekends so much.
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