An unexpected call from my husband usually brings tears to my eyes in such a good way. Tonight, and it's rare that I hear from him at night because it's really his early early morning, it was a bit different.
He had just gotten back from somewhere, where he had been for some amount of time doing something. It was 3am his time so I was nervous when I answered the phone, subconsciously wondering what was making him call so early. He literally had just gotten back and wanted to call before going to bed because he said he promised me he would and didn't want me worrying for however many days it may be before he called again. I teared up a little bit realizing how much he still thought about me even during times when he's at his most exhausted.
And then it finally happened. We had unpleasant exchanging of words. We didn't fight, but it wasn't really pleasant talks. I asked him something and he got defensive. Then I got defensive. I stopped myself but it was too late - we had just had a disagreement or whatever you want to call it and I so desperately wanted to avoid that while he was gone. I didn't want to ever, ever be a reason why he was stressed out or upset and in that moment I felt like I had truly failed him.
I tried to bounce back but I knew he was tired. And I also knew I was emotionally drained. He had been out for hours and hours doing something and while it obviously isn't the same thing, I had been home for hours and hours, worrying and praying and trying to make myself stay sane.
I asked him what he needed again and told him I was sending him a pillow and a blanket because I wanted him to be comfortable. He said he wasn't uncomfortable and I then just said, "I don't know what to do to help you." He said I didn't need to do anything.
But the truth is, I do need to do something. I need to protect my husband. I need to provide comfort for him. I need to make this better.
So I told him to go get some sleep. But before that, I asked him if we could pray. And I did. I prayed for him and for his unit and in those thirty short seconds, the distance wasn't so far. The miles weren't as stretched out and even though he wasn't in a good mood, I knew I was doing something that he could feel. I was giving him something that wasn't just what he needed, but was what we needed. I pray for him daily, and I know he prays too, but praying together is something I treasure in our marriage. It's something that brings us closer than anything we could ever do physically, and it's something that this deployment can't take away from us. Hearing him say, "amen" is something that I treasure. It's more important than, "I love you" or "I miss you." It's a reminder that our marriage is a cord of three strands. And a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
So while this seven minute phone call won't go down in history as the most pleasant, it will go down as one of the best. Not because he was happy, not because we were snippy, not because he was tired or irritated or sleepy, not because I was scared or nervous or feeling helpless...
...it will be remembered because we prayed.
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